He's of the colour of the nutmeg. And of the heat of the ginger.... he is pure air and fire; and the dull elements of earth and water never appear in him, but only in patient stillness while his rider mounts him; he is indeed a horse, and all other jades you may call beasts. ~William Shakespeare, Henry V

Thursday, March 31, 2005

FLOWERS

On Tuesday I had a total break down at work over my PCOS, I know that I shouldn't have but I did. One of my co-workers (and she happens to be my favorite) came into the locker room and asked me what was wrong. I told her about it and she felt really bad and said that if there is ever anything that she and her husband can do for us to let them know. It was great having someone to just listen to me as I said everything I had to say that I have been holding for two weeks and not judging, criticizing, telling me what I should do or saying "it's just fine, nothings wrong". Since then I have felt a lot better about everything, at least I can talk about it without crying now. So today when Darren met me at my parents house so he could see Cassidy before he went to work, Darren told me that I got flowers delivered to the house today. Of course Darren was snoopy as to whom sent the flowers so he opened them up and looked at the card...here the flowers were from my co-worker and her husband just to brighten my day. I can't get over that they actually sent me flowers. It surprised me that they cared so much to do that. I am going to call them tonight and thank them since I won't see them again until Tuesday. I hope they don't mind the phone call late in the evening.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

OB/GYN VISIT

Jill from the Devils Lake Community Clinic called me Tuesday at work to set up an appointment to see the ob/gyn. The soonest appointments that Dr. Billings had available were May 2nd in Minot or May 20th in Devils Lake. I am not happy at all that I still have to wait a month to get in to see him, but what can I do about it. I told Jill that I would prefer to see him on May 20th in DL. She said that she would call and make the appointment and then call my home and leave a message on the answering machine with the time. Well, I got home from work and there was no message. So as I was getting ready to leave the house today, Jill called and said that Dr. Billings is totally booked until June in DL but he still had a 10:30 am appointment open in Minot. This made me really upset because that's a Monday and I don't have a sitter for Cassidy and I don't know my way around Minot so Darren would have to come with to drive me, besides, I think he wants to be there anyway. I booked the appointment and we are going to think about it, but if it comes down to it, I think we will just go to Minot on Sunday and spend the night and get up for the doctors appointment the next day and then come home. I really wish that I could see him sooner because my abdominal cramps have gotten worse. It feels like menstrual cramps or I am going to have diarrhea but I know that it's neither. I have taken ibuprophen for it, the meds just dull the pain and it comes back about 6 hours later. But at least I am not really sick so that's cool and I can survive until I see the ob/gyn.

OH WHAT A NIGHT

On Monday evening when Darren was at work, his part-time employee punched out for work like he normally does and went home for dinner. Two hours later the part-timer still hadn't come back yet. When I got off work at 8:30 I had to run to my Avon rep and pick up my order that had come in on Friday. Close to my reps home, I thought I saw the part-timers car parked in front of his friends girlfriends house. After I picked up my stuff I doubled back to check, and sure enough, it was his car. I got to my parents place at a quarter to nine and I called Darren to let him know where the guy was. Darren called his mom, and his mom said that he was sleeping and asked if he was in trouble. Darren got the guy on the phone and asked if he was coming back to work or not and the guy said "No, I am going to stay home. I was thinking about quitting". Of course this made Darren really mad, but could you blame him. That left him with only two other employees and on Tuesday there was only going to be Darren and one other guy. Needless to say, the part-timer doesn't have a job anymore even if he did come back to work the following day. Sometimes, I just don't get people. They need a job because they want the money to buy things and be able to afford just to live, but yet, they don't want to work for it.

Monday, March 28, 2005

GREAT EASTER BUT CASSIE IS SICK AGAIN

We had a great time up at Darren's folks place in Willow City for Easter. Darren's mom cooked a really good ham, roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, and she even made 3 different home made pies. I definitely over ate big time. I talked to my sister on the phone, it was the first time I spoke to her since posting about my PCOS. My sister has been a member of Weight Watchers for a while now (she started when I was living with her in Minneapolis in '98) and within two weeks of joining Weight Watchers she started to loose weight noticeably. She is still involved and she goes to meetings each week. Since I don't have the time or the convenience of that right now, she is going to send me stuff from her meetings and even a points counter and stuff to help me drop weight so that I can start to manage my PCOS. I am going to start on Wednesday, providing that I get that stuff from Lynnette by then. I will let you all know how it's going and I will even post....God, do I dare say it.....my weight weekly so you all know how I'm doing and if I am slacking or not. Last night when I was getting Cassie ready for bed she felt really warm. I took her temp and it was 102.1 I gave her tylenol and laid her down. She doesn't feel as warm this morning but I am going to take her temp just to see what it is at. I need to call her doctor too because she isn't 100% better yet. She started a cough a day or two ago and the prescription cough syrup isn't working and now she has a runny nose and the mucus that is coming out is a thick yellow color so I know there is an infection somewhere that is going to need antibiotics. I have also had a sore throat for two and a half weeks and I should get something for that too. I have to call the clinic today anyway because my doctor has to set up an appointment for my OB/GYN visit too.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

AN APOLOGY, DINNER GUESTS, AND GREAT STORIES

Right away, I need to say sorry to Billy and Vinny for not getting back to them and getting together with them Saturday. I got really busy getting the house and things together for Kevin and Aprils visit and then I had to run into Leeds and buy some groceries for dinner. Some where between everything that was on my mind I forgot to give Billy and Vinny a call. I owe you guys one, I'm sorry, I promise Billy that I will try and work something out and we can get together this week. For dinner I decided to make chicken enchiladas and pumpkin squares. I think it turned out really well, they must have liked it or otherwise they wouldn't have asked for both recipes. After dinner Cassie got really tired so I put her to bed and then Kevin and April helped Darren and I fill Cassies plastic Easter eggs with M&Ms, Hershey Kisses, and mini Reeses peanut butter cups. While we all were getting Easter stuff together, I can't even remember how we got started on the conversation, Darren and Kevin entertained April and I by sharing stories about being sick with the flu, being drunk, and combinations of the two. It was really great to have them out for a while we really miss them and enjoy their company sooooo much. I don't think Darren and I laughed like that in a long time. I can't believe we didn't wake Cassie up!! It was really great. Darren and I have already decided that we are going to visit them as often as we can when they move back. We have even already designated April as our full-time baby sitter of choice when Darren and I want to do something in town and don't want to drag Cassie with. I am sure April won't mind if Cassie is at their place for a few hours a week, after all, she is their God Child. Kevin and Ape staying until about 10:30 and then headed back to D.L. I hope they enjoyed their visit as much as we did. I was worth not going to Minneapolis to spend that evening with them. God, do I miss that!

EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, AND EASTER BASKETS

Cassie has been getting up early lately. The last few days in a row she has been up between 6:30 to 7:00. This isn't so bad on days that I have to work but on the weekends it tough because I would like to sleep in. I have tried to just let her play and talk to herself in her crib to get a few extra minutes in, but it normally doesn't last and within 15 minutes she will start screaming until I get up and take her out of her crib. She was up at a quarter to seven yesterday, after her breakfast we turned on some cartoons. I sat down on the couch and she laid on the floor watching the TV. We were watching JoJo's Circus on Disney and the next thing I knew The Wiggles were starting. I don't think I napped longer than 15 minutes, but I still can't believe that I fell asleep like that and I didn't even know that I had done that until I woke up. This morning she was up at 6:30, she found her Easter baskets and found some of the eggs. I really can't get her to eat too much of her breakfast but the candy this morning didn't help. The crystal dish with M&Ms in it is almost empty. I am only letting her do it because this is the only day except for maybe Christmas that she can have stuff like that in the morning. She is watching a Baby Einstein DVD right now and after it's over I am going to give her a bath, then wake up dad so he can take a shower, then I will take my shower and then we are going to head for Willow City. And while her DVD plays it reminds me that I have to find some more BE DVDs because Cassie is exhausting the 5 that we have.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

LAST NIGHT

Since I was pretty bummed out after the doctor called, my mom came over to watch Cassie while Darren and I ran into Devils Lake. We had to go to DL anyway since we got our paychecks and we had to drop them in the night deposit. We ate at Dairy Queen, did some shopping at Wal-Mart and then ran over to Amadon and Josies. We were there for a little while and then Kevin and April showed up. Kevin and April even had an Easter basket full of stuff for Cassie and a really hilarious Easter card. We were going to run out to the casino but it was getting late and we had to get going home. I was pretty quiet on the ride home, all I could think about PCOS and how much it may or may not effect my life. When we got home, and after mom left, I really started to cry hard about it. Darren hugged me and told me that it may not seem like it, but he does care and is concerned about what's going on and he's there for me. It made me feel a little better. Amadon also gave us a copy of Disney's The Incredibles. It's a really good movie and it's worth checking out. I didn't get to bed until about 3am and Cassie got up at 7 again. I still have to run into Leeds to the grocery store to get stuff for today's dinner when April and Kevin come out.

Friday, March 25, 2005

POLYCYSTIC OVARY SYNDROME

Dr Petty called me today personally. He informed me that I have Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOS). The old school term is Stein-Leventhal Syndrome. 4 to 6 percent of women in America have this disease. When your hormones don't' work "normal", your ovaries may make too many eggs and those eggs turn into cysts on the ovaries. It often begins in the teen years. It doesn't go away. Usually women with PCOS have irregular periods (Petty told me I would only get my period 3 to 4 times a year), and after a while women stop having periods. 70 percent of women have extra hair growth on the chin, upper lip, nipple area, chest, lower abdomen, and thighs. They may get acne. With PCOS you are more likely to get high blood pressure and/or diabetes and have a greater risk of heart attacks and strokes. Also with PCOS you are more likely to be infertile and also have higher risks for cancer of the uterus or breast. To treat PCOS, I need to loose weight. This will help weight gain and can even improve chances of fertility. Medicine will help with my period, hair growth, and acne. If Darren and I want to have another baby, there are medicines that may help us get pregnant. It was hard for me not to cry when Dr Petty was talking to me on the phone. Dr Petty wants me to see an OB/GYN to see how advanced this is, Dr Petty recommended Dr David Billings from Minot. That's convenient for me because he comes to Devils Lake each month. I am so depressed about this. All I could really thing about when I was writing information down was that Darren doesn't have to worry about having another baby, and I have a lot to look forward to.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

STILL WAITING

There was a message on the answering machine when I got home tonight. I ran to the bedroom and hit the answer button as hard as I possibly could hoping that it would be the clinic but it was just my Creative Memories Scrapbooking rep wanting to inform me that she was putting on a workshop tomorrow at the Minnie H School and wanted to know if I would like to attend. I haven't spoken to Darren yet and I probably won't until he gets home from work tonight. Maybe he got the phone call and they told him what was going on in the ultrasound, either that or they are waiting for tomorrow to call me. Either way, the suspense is killing me. I want to know what the ultra sound showed and if it's bad or not.

FAMILY

My brother called me last night because he read my post from yesterday and he pretty much had the same opinion that April did. We talked for almost and hour and a half and it was really great because I miss him and I don't get to talk to him much, he mainly ends up talking to Darren when I am gone or really busy. It got me to thinking of what was really important to me and what I really value in my life. Family, it's the one thing that I can count on when I have a serious problem or if it's just a bad day that's bothering me. No matter what fault I have committed there is always someone there to support and comfort me. Without my family, especially Darren and Cassidy, I don't know what I would do. With their love and support I can handle anything and the crap that happens to me at work doesn't mean crap and it makes it easier for me to "turn the other cheek". Because I love them so much, I decided to post 7 pics for everyone to enjoy (it also helped that Cassidy was being a ham for the camera) because it makes me smile when I see them.

She couldn't keep her eyes off the TV, the Wiggles were on. Posted by Hello

The potty chair box provided hours of fun! Posted by Hello

No explaination necessary Posted by Hello

Cassidy loves to push herself around the house on her rocking horse that she got from Grandma and Grandpa Savaloja for her first Christmas. Posted by Hello

Cassie LOVES dad's ball caps!! Posted by Hello

Dad & Cassidy Posted by Hello

Dad, Tucker, & Cassidy chillin' and watching TV Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

HOW I MADE MYSELF FEEL LIKE SHIT TODAY

When I went to work this evening, I went to the manager and told him how the day supervisor handled Thursdays situation. I was really shocked by his response and how he replied to me. He said that she had the right to tell me what she did (I agree with this) but, yes, she shouldn't have said anything infront of the other employees and it should have been done behind closed doors and he would talk to her about this (exactly what I wanted) and from now on to ask the day supervisor before I just start helping her crew out because the supervisor has a specific order how he/she wants things done (agreed, I respect that) but then he goes on to tell me that she basically acted that way towards me because there are two ways of doing things, the hard way and the easy way, and for some reason I like to do things the hard way (WHAT!!!) and that I rub a lot of the employees out there the wrong way and he has heard stuff from other employees and that's what he has been noticing too after years of working with me! This makes me feel like crap, I feel like I am not wanted out at the plant by anyone but they can't get rid of me just because I am irritating. No one has ever said anything to me or acted differently towards me, except the day supervisor, but of course they wouldn't they would just go behind my back anyway....but still. He made me feel like it was all my fault and I had it coming. I worked for two hours this evening, came home and after my mom left I put Cassidy to bed and I just bawled. Things aren't going well in my life right now, I am sick and don't know why, now I get my ass chewed by my manager all because I wanted him to tell the supervisor to keep all reprimanding out of earshot of other employees. I feel so awful right now, I hate myself for even going in there in the first place! I am just going to keep to my own things from now on and try not to hold conversations with anyone (because who knows what they are going to say next to the manager about me) and when I am done with my stuff I am just going to leave. To hell with the freakin' day crew.

ULTRASOUND

Cassie and I got up at 9 am and we were both just sitting down for breakfast when the telephone rang. It was Amy from the lab at the Cando Hospital asking if I could be up there in 45 minutes for my ultrasound.....uuuhhhmmm, NO! I explained that we were still in pajamas, just eating breakfast, I had yet to pack her diaper bag for the sitters, we needed to get dressed then I had to drop her off at the sitters. Amy then said that the tech doing the ultra sound wouldn't be there for another hour and fifteen minutes and wondered if that would be enough time! I told her that I couldn't promise but I could try, Amy then asked if it was inconvenient for me we could reschedule for another day. I said that I didn't want to reschedule so she just said to come as soon as I could and they would try and keep the tech busy. I got there and they did a standard ultrasound (transabdominal). I don't think that they found anything too specific or exciting because then they did a transvaginal ultrasound and it's just as horrible as it sounds. I had never heard of one before and they go through the vagina to get a better view of the ovaries and uterus. So they let me go to the bathroom to empty my bladder, then I had to undress from the waist down, when I lay down again on the table the tech pulls out this probe about the length of a ruler, slips a condom over it and I had to insert it in by myself. This was so embarrassing and the transvaginal ultrasound hurt bad. The tech pushed hard in each direction that I thought the probe was going to come ripping through my abdomen and I am still sore from it. I would never want anyone I know to go through it. I think I was there for about thirty five minutes and then I was able to leave. The tech said that my doctor should have the results tomorrow. I work tomorrow so I hope they leave a message on my answering machine, if they don't, I hope they call Friday but it's hard to tell if they will since it's Good Friday. Whatever the news is, hopefully it isn't bad. I just couldn't believe it though that they didn't give me a twenty four hour notice and just expected me to come up there at the drop of a hat. I did speak to someone at the clinic about it and about three hours after I got home, Amy called again and said that she had a meeting with the Administrator of the clinic and I apparently hadn't been the only one to complain about how the ultrasounds were scheduled and she wanted my info on how to make the scheduling easier. I told her that a twenty four hour notice would be nice and if they couldn't do a twenty four hour notice to at least give us a few hours so we can get shit together.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

GETTING READY FOR EASTER

I can't believe that Easter is this weekend! I was totally confused at first because I kept thinking to myself "isn't Easter always in April" but I forgot that this year is one of the very few years that Easter lands in March. So after the doctors visit we ran to Dairy Queen in Devils Lake and I got something to eat and I gave Cassie toast, thanks to the wonderful bland diet, and then I ran to Wal-Mart because I needed stuff. While we were in Wal-Mart I got an Easter basket, pastel grass, some plastic eggs, and the candy to fill the eggs up with. I am really excited for Easter, it's going to be fun watching Cassie find her hidden eggs and then open them up for the "surprise" inside. When I get her basket together, I will have to take pics and show everyone.

CLINIC VISIT

Cassie saw Dr Petty today at 10:45. Cassie was feeling pretty well today and she slept all night after my mom left. The doctor said that since she hadn't thrown up in 12 hours he wasn't worried about the vomiting and we just had to let things run it's course. He suggested liquid imodium for the diarrhea. I have been using it and she hasn't had as many messy pants but it's still thin. She is eating, we have been keeping her on a pretty bland diet, hopefully she will do good and she can start eating normal stuff soon. I have my pelvic ultrasound tomorrow. My sister was thinking that maybe I developed endometriosis because that will stop menstruation. I asked my mom about it and she said that is a possibility and it occurs a lot in women who have c-sections for some reason. It can also make it more difficult to conceive. I don't expect to have the results of the ultrasound right away, I am thinking maybe I should have them by the end of the week. I will let everyone know the results when I find out.

Monday, March 21, 2005

A TURN FOR THE WORSE

This morning Cassie was doing so well. She even at most of her breakfast....but that was pretty much she ate and she hasn't been eating anything all weekend since she's been sick but she was drinking a lot all day so I wasn't too concerned because at least she was getting fluids. So my mom came to my house to watch Cassie so that I could get some time in because we need the money. My mom called me at work tonight at a quarter to ten and said that Cassie was throwing up again and that she had already thrown up twice. My mom had a phenegren sopository in her fridge and she said we had to give it to Cassie to stop her vomiting. My mom is concerned that she may be dehydrated because of all the fluid loss at least she should keep her fluids down tonight with the sopository and that I MUST get her into the clinic to see Dr Petty. I and my mom are worried that she may be admitted into the hospital for an IV if we don't get this under control. I am so worried, if she is admitted I am going to bawl. It's going to break my heart to see her like that. I am going to call the clinic right away tomorrow morning at 8am and let them know that we are coming. I hope all goes well.

OUR WEEKEND

On Friday, Cassie started getting sick again. She was vomiting and wasn't her self. On Saturday she threw up all day long and messed her pants about every 10 minutes. Her stool was so watered down that most of it would absorb into her diaper and it was hard to tell if she was urinating or not and her poor butt is really red. I tried jello water, she loved it, but couldn't keep it down longer than 4 minutes. She fell asleep at 7pm and stayed sleeping until 8am. Sunday she didn't throw up at all but she still wasn't feeling well. She took at nap at 9am until 11am and then took another nap from 2:30pm to 6pm. She was warm to the touch so I was giving her motrin and tylenol every 3 hours. I let her lounge around in a really light outfit so she would stay cool. Because her butt is so bad, I have been using vasiline instead of diaper rash cream because it works better at keeping wettness away. At least today she is playing with her toys, she has showed an interest in food but still isn't really eating but she is eating more than she has the last 2 days. She is loud, antaganizing the cat, and right now protesting against her nap from her crib. It's nice to have her back to her habits but she still has really loose stools so I am probaby going to have to give her the "brat diet" so that they firm a little. The diet is made up of foods that normally constipate a baby like bananas, toast, applesauce, and rice cereal.

MEDICAL MYSTERY

I haven't been feeling well at all for a few months. I went to my doctor because I haven't gotten my period since Jan 12th. Thinking I might be pregnant I took a home test but it came out negative. I waited a couple of days and then made a doctors appointment because I was still queezy, dizzy, lightheaded, getting hot flashes, and my belly from the bottom of my ribs to my pelvis hurts. I took a pregnancy test at the doctors office and that also came out negative. My doctor told me to wait two weeks and take another test, if that test should come out negative I was to make another appointment. Well two weeks went by, the second home test was negative and I made an appointment. So I went back and they drew blood to do a blood pregnancy screen, anemia/hemoglobin, thyroid, and to check for early menopause because my energy has been low and I am tired all the time. The blood pregnancy came back negative and the rest of the test came back normal. Now on Wednesday I go to Cando and have a pelvic ultrasound done to see what is going on internally because I still haven't gotten my period. There, now you all know what it up and my blogs are confusing. Yes, Karissa, I really did wish there was something wrong with me because then I would know what is wrong and we wouldn't be guessing what it wrong and I can stop taking all these damn tests.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

SAT ON THE CHAIR TODAY

When my mom came home today, she had a suprise for us. Two potty-chairs!! One for her house and one for ours. Cassie was really interested in it and even played with it for a bit. I asked her if she wanted to sit on it, she said yes so I put her on. She smiled and tried to play with it. Soon after putting her on it she started tugging at her pants, I aske if she had to potty and she said yes so we went to the bathroom with the chair and I took off her pants and diaper and let her sit on in for a few minutes. She didn't do anything, and I really wasn't expecting her to. Hopefully when we start training it's not going to take too much. I already know that she doesn't like wet pants so I think this is going to go fast.

VIOLATION OF PLANT INSURANCE POLICY

Work today went pretty well but he day crew manager upset me. I didn't have too much of my own work to do. I did everything that I could to get 12 cases of sample kits ready by next Tuesday except for some sauce that is being thawed out in a thaw cooler at the plant. When I get to work on Monday I am going to put the sauce in sample cups and then put all 12 cases together. Since it was going to take more than 4 hours for the sauce to thaw out, I went to go help the day crew pump sauce. When I don't have anything going on, I usually help the day crew with some of their stuff or I go home early and I like to get as much time in as I can. At times the day crew supervisor will even ask me for help. When I was helping to put lids on the tubs of sauce, the super came over to me and asked me what I was doing. I explained to her that I didn't have anything to do so I was helping them. She said that I am only part-time and I am not supposed to help them because if I got injured doing a full-time job then she and the plant are in trouble because it violates their insurance policy and that I need to get back to doing my own stuff and not worry about them. It really made me upset because she had this "more holy than thou art" sound and it was infront of half of the day crew. Also, what about all the times they have asked me for help?!?!? I have come to a conclusion and I am going to be firm on it even if the day crew supervisor gets pissy about it...I am not going to help them anymore and I am only going to do my FedEx and Sample Kits, when I'm done with those I will go home even if I have only been there for 5 hours or less. When I left work at 3:30 I felt like I was being used. I can only help them when it's convenient for them but when I try and help them so that I can get more hours in I can't because it's violating policy. What a shitty deal. If it's in violation of policy I am not going to worry about helping them anymore and if they ask and I say no and they want to know why, I will just remind all of them about it.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

EASTER PLANS

So my folks decided not to go to Minneapolis for Easter because there is a chance that she will have to work Good Friday. So they are planning on making the trip in May for my fathers birthday and I and my mom will just plan on going sometime later. Besided, I know that Cassie will not sit in her car seat for 7 hours and if we make a bunch of stops it's going to take us for ever-and-a-day to get there. Darren and I are planning on going up to Willow City and spending Easter with his parents, after all, last year we spent the entire Easter holiday with my parents. We are married and have a child so we have to try and make all Holidays fair for the Grandparents....which can be challenging sometimes but we have been able to make it work so far.

TOO TIRED

I was so damn tired today when I woke up the only thing I got accomplished was getting Cassie breakfast and changing her diaper. Rainy called around 9:30 and said that she was running out to get some Easter stuff out of the shed. After the phone call I thought I should clean up because the house was terrible but Cassie really needed a bath after her CoCo Wheats so we were just ending the bath when Rainy showed up. Rainy stayed for about 2 and a half hours. It was nice to catch up on things that we haven't talked about for a long time. My mom came over at 4 so I could work some extra hours at work. While she was here she washed my dished, straightened up the kitchen a bit and she even cleaned my living room....THANK YOU MOM!!!....it was really nice comeing home to a clean house so I could eat dinner and then get to bed without having to pick anything up before hand. Well, I got two of my blood tests back today. My Dr decided to do 4 different blood tests. They both came back okay and normal so now we just wait for the other 2 which I won't get back until Friday at the soonest. If all the tests are normal, my Dr wants to set up an ultrasound to check everything inside and make sure I'm alright. It's a long and confusing story, I know, but I will try and explain things better when all the tests have come back and I know whats going on.

Monday, March 14, 2005

I THOUGHT OF APRIL TODAY

I was flipping through the paper and I saw the obituary for April's Grandfather and it made me feel bad. I didn't know it was today and Darren and I talked about sending a card with a memorial but I guess it would be too late. We love Ape and hope that she is doing well today even though I know how hard it must be for all of them. I feel better when I let myself know that Mr. Keck was tired and weak, God noticed this and so God set him free. Now he lives without pain and is in the company of God, the angels, and his relatives of the past. I hope that their family will think of this and it gives them the comfort that they need.

DR APPOINTMENT

I have still been feeling icky since my post a week or so ago and lately I can't breath out of my nose. Darren is terribly sick and he has been trying that new stuff, Zicam, and he thought it was working but doesn't think it's working anymore but he's going to stick it out and try and finish the bottle. I am a wimp so I am going to see my Dr tomorrow and see what it up with me. I have noticed now too that I if I lay down or fall asleep on my stomach, it hurts from about my belly-button to my pelvis. I am hoping that it's not an intestinal infection or anything like that which is making me sick. I don't even know how anyone would get something like that, but everyone knows me and I always think of the worst possible scenario. I am also thinking about picking up a couple of potty chairs at Wal-Mart if I have the time. That way I have one here at my house and my mom has the other one and I can get Cassie started on potty training.

@#!% CAR!!!

I went out to start the car so I could go to my mom's and drop off Cassie so I could go to work. But when I tried to start the car, it just turned over once and she was done. It totally refused to start. I was going to call my mom to pick us up but Darren went outside and jump started the car. When I got out to the car I thought I smelled burning oil but I wasn't sure because the smell was pretty faint so I just jumped in and took off. Darren told me to let it run while I was at my mom's so that the battery would charge. So I did. When I got to my mom's I forgot to grab Cassie's medicine from the counter and I called Darren to have him bring it and drop it off. Darren showed up with the medicine shortly and stayed for a bit then took off for work himself. I didn't stay longer than 5 minutes after Darren and when I walked out into my parents garage I could hear this really loud whining sound. I opened the door to the garage and there was so much smoke that I couldn't even see the headlights of the car and the whine was deafening and I could hear the water from the radiator boiling. I shut off the car really fast and because I didn't have a lot of time I took my mom's Jeep to work. I told Darren about the car and hopefully we can get around to fixing it tomorrow. I was going to fill the radiator with water while I was at my parents but I didn't have any anti-freeze in the trunk of the car and my dad didn't have any either so I had to let the car sit at their place and I brought the Jeep home. I wish I had the money to go out and by myself a really nice Dodge Caravan, that is my dream vehicle since we have a child. But until Ed McMahon comes knocking on my door I am stuck with this. There is a lot more wrong with the car but it's too long to post and I am sure something will happen again so I will inform you piece by piece as the events unfold.

POTTY TRAINING ALREADY

Darren and I noticed that Cassie was showing signs of being ready for potty training. She will go to a specific corner of the house when she is ready to do "business" and when she is done she will walk around and tug on the front of her pants like she is trying to pull them away from herself. One time she actually susceeded in pulling her pants off. She will try and wipe herself when I change her diaper and she is really curious on whats going on when Darren and I go to the bathroom. I think the next trip into Devils Lake we are going to have to get a potty chair. I can't believe how big she has gotten in just a year and a half. I never EVER thought that I would be putting her in a potty chair so soon. There's a down side and an upside to this. It forces me to realize the big girl she has become and that she isn't a baby anymore, she's a toddler getting bigger faster than I ever imagined, but I won't have to worry about spending money on diapers when she can use the bathroom.

WEEKEND

Darren didn't make it up to Willow last weekend so he went on Saturday early afternoon with his cousin Jeff from Rugby. While he was gone I went over to my mom's house to wash cloths. Lately I have been finding it a little easier to wash cloths on Saturday instead of Sunday because Saturday is normally when Darren is gone. That evening we rented movies. The first one, Napoleon Dynamite, really stunk. I thought it would have been a little funny but it wasn't. The second, Duplex, was a lot better...but then after the first anything would have been better. I still want to see Without A Paddle. I hear that one is really good. We sold our old entertainment center in the back room to a guy in Leeds for $100. Darren bought it shortly after I got mine and then not too long after that we moved in together so it hasn't even been used. It's taking up a lot of space in that back room and it will be nice to have it gone.

WEEKEND

Darren didn't make it up to Willow last weekend so he went on Saturday early afternoon with his cousin Jeff from Rugby. While he was gone I went over to my mom's house to wash cloths. Lately I have been finding it a little easier to wash cloths on Saturday instead of Sunday because Saturday is normally when Darren is gone. That evening we rented movies. The first one, Napoleon Dynamite, really stunk. I thought it would have been a little funny but it wasn't. The second, Duplex, was a lot better...but then after the first anything would have been better. I still want to see Without A Paddle. I hear that one is really good. We sold our old entertainment center in the back room to a guy in Leeds for $100. Darren bought it shortly after I got mine and then not too long after that we moved in together so it hasn't even been used. It's taking up a lot of space in that back room and it will be nice to have it gone.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I STAND CORRECTED

Okay, I have to correct myself. In one of my past blogs, I told everyone that Rainy was naming her baby Aries. My mom talked to Jason, and Jason said that the name is Eeris. It's like iris but with an E sound in the beginning instead of an I. I still think that it's a really cool name. My mom also told me that Jason said that Rainy's C-section is going to be in April......next month already!! I didn't realize that she was that far along, but I have been busy getting my own life together I have put a lot of things on hold.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

MY YARD IS TURNING INTO AN AVIARY

The birds are driving me fricken nuts! Last summer we had a squirrel chew through the siding of our home and was making his "home" within the walls of ours. One day when the squirrel was gone Darren put a piece of duct tape over the hole but it didn't keep the squirrel out for long. I think in only 2 days the squirrel chewed through the tape. When that didn't work, Darren put a piece of plywood over the hole. This only kept the squirrel out for a day and then the damn thing chewed another hole right beneath the plywood. Over the winter Darren shot every squirrel that came into the yard, I would even wake him up and holler "SQUIRREL IN THE YARD!" and he would literally jump out of bed, grab the shot gun and his jacket and he was out the door in 30 seconds flat. But since there aren't anymore squirrels hanging around, the freakin' birds are now fighting over the holes and whom is going to nest where. I woke up today and all I could hear was chirping and the tree right outside the house was full of birds that were taking turns flying in and out of the holes. It was like there was an open house at our place today and every bird in the county came by to see if it would be appropriate for their nesting needs. Talk about mad. I am just ticked that the birds moved in. A good example of what I am going through would be Alfred Hitchcocks "The Birds" (Doug would probably know the film I'm talking about). I want to throw rice out my door and watch them all blow up soooooo bad. I love to listen to them in the summer time when I have the windows open and I am reading or cleaning but I do not intend on sharing my home with them!

A SURPRISE VISIT BY THE UPS MAN

August of 2003, a bunch of people got together and bought me this really kick ass Eddie Bauer diaper bag backpack and gave it to me at my baby shower. Over the months of use the zipper started to catch on the flap that hid the zipper and it started to tear apart the flap exposing the foam padding inside the shell of the diaper bag. I contacted Eddie Bauer and they told me to contact a company by the name of Baby Boom in NY who makes the bags for them. So I called Baby Boom and they told me to send them the bag with a letter and not to worry about a receipt because the bag itself is proof of purchase and the bags are under warranty and they would exchange it. I sent my old diaper bag off about 6 weeks ago by Priority Mail and I totally forgot about it. Today the UPS man stopped and I couldn't figure out why because I hadn't bought anything off eBay and neither had Darren. I tore open the box and there was a brand new diaper bag....an even bigger, wider, better diaper bag backpack. This thing is three times the size of my old bag. I wish I would have had this bag to start out with. The bag is 13.5" x 16.5" x 7". Inside there are two bottle rings, a large mesh pocket with a velcro closure a changing pad, and a "wet" bag. Outside on the front there are two pockets, one large with a zipper and a key ring. The second is a smaller pocket with velcro closure also. Each side has a pocket that is perfect for a sippy cup or bottle (mine will perminately hold a sippy since we are done with bottles) and the back had a big vertical zipper for easy access to the changing pad and diapers without opening the entire bag. I can get all of Cassie's stuff and the kitchen sink in this thing!! I am totally excited about it, I can't wait to use it. And it's going to be perfect for toys, stuffies, books, crayons, paper, and music when she gets older for longer trips. We could even use it as an overnight bag too. SWEET!! props go out to Eddie Bauer/Baby Boom for giving me something totally better than what I expected after I forgot all about it. I will be showing it off to all of you as soon as I get the chance.

SICK AGAIN

So last night when my mom came to my house to babysit Cassie started coughing when Grandma came through the door. Cassie has been coughing for a few days and I just thought it was something viral and I was going to let it run it's course. However, Grandma thought it sounded worse and didn't think it was just and ordinary cough. Since Grandma is a RN she has seen quite a bit more than most Grandmas so I called Cando and Dr Petty was working the walk-in clinic so Grandma and I ran Cassie up to Cando. Turns out that she has a bronchiolar infection and Dr Petty said that if I would have let it go any longer that it would have gotten much worse....probably pneumonia. Now Cassie is on amoxicillan and a nasty cough syrup. I am just glad that my mom came over and said something otherwise I would have let it go on. I called my babysitter this morning, Dr Petty didn't say wether or not she could go to day care, and I asked the sitter if she still wanted Cassie today. She said that she prefer Cassie be on meds for 24 hrs before bringing her so today I am staying home with Cassie. On the bright side, Cassie is feeling better today then she did lastnight. Today she ate her breakfast really good, she is playing, she sounds a little funny from her red throat but she hasn't coughed since she's gotten up....and it totally flew my mind that Cassie was 17 months on the day yesterday!!! How time flies. It doesn't feel like my little girl should be a year and a half already!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

IT'S SATURDAY AND I WASHED CLOTHS

I decided to make pancakes today when Cassie and I got up. Cassie really enjoyed them, she liked them so much that she helped herself to 3 of them and ate it all except about a quarter of the third pancake. When Darren got up he decided to go to Willow City and look for deer sheds in some of the shelter belts around his familys farm. Since he decided to go to Willow, I thought it would be a perfect day to wash cloths instead of tomorrow, that way tomorrow we can spend the day together. I went to moms and started cloths and Darren called and said that it got a little late on him so he got to Rugby and visited with his cousin for a bit and then decided to come back home. I felt bad because if I knew he was coming back home I would have stayed home and made dinner but instead I ate at my moms place. Darren met me at my moms and when cloths were finished and we were leaving he decided to run into town and visit some friends. I just hope that he isn't out too late because I am still planning on going to church at 10:30. I still haven't gotten to my back bedroom in the house where we have all our junk. When we moved we put everything back there and were going to sort it out when we put the house together but we never did. Now I want to go through everything and either keep what I need, sell it, or throw it. Besides, it will be nice to have an extra bedroom in case someone comes to stay and if anything else I can turn it into a play room for Cassie and I can get all her toys out of the living room so when we have guests they won't see the mess.

WHAT A JOKE

So Mike had this job shadow thing with a company in Virginia Beach. They didn't tell him what he would be doing but he put on his best suit and went to the company. When he gets there, this big black guy tells Mike to get in a car with him. With no clue of where they are going, Mike jumps in and they take off. After a bit the black man stops the car, he gets out and puts on sneakers. He tells Mike to get out and they start walking. They go up to a house, the black man knocks on the door, someone answers.....AND THEY ARE DOOR TO DOOR SALES MEN trying to sell coupon books!! What a shitty way of trying to get employees to work for you. And here all the time Mike went thought the first interview thinking this was an honest job in promotion. Instead, this promotion was trying to get people to buy coupons. So Mike actually stuck it out. Mike said that there was even a home that had a "No Solicitors" sign posted under the address but the black guy went up there anyway. Mike told they guy "yeah, but it says no solicitors" and the man told him "we are not solicitors, we are peddlers." Like that makes a difference, it's the same damn thing. So they working into the dark of the evening and they were in the car coming home....AND THE CAR RAN OUT OF GAS. They waited for a cop to come by, turns out Mike was the only one who had money on him for gas. The cop took Mike to a gas station and Mike had to buy a gas can and gas, then the cop took Mike back to the car (he only bought a few dollars of fuel). Someone was thinking that they could make it back to the company and Mike told them to drive back to the station and get fuel because there was no way in hell the would make it that far on a few gallons. So when the got to the gas station Mike had to pay for the fuel. I think in the end, Mike did get refunded for the money he spent in fuel but I don't know about the gas tank. Man, what a shitty deal. Here the whole time he believed he was applying for an honest job and that is what it turned out to be. If it was me, and a big black guy stranger wanted me to get in his car and take a ride I would have said "screw you buddy, I don't wanna die" and I would have left. I feel so bad for my brother. When there is another job interview, I hope it goes a lot better.

DINNER WENT REALLY WELL

Dinner with my mom was really good. My mom had never had Poor Mans Prime rib before and she really liked it. I also made real mashed potatos, stuffing, and corn. I didn't have anything for dessert though. I was going to make cookies but then decided to wait. I have more than enough meat left over. Mom was going to stay and help me with dishes but I told her not to because I
was the one who invited her for dinner. I didn't want her to come over to do my dishes. Darren didn't home until 8:30 and I was getting Cassie ready for bed. I felt bad that he wasn't home to eat with us but oh well.

Friday, March 04, 2005

MY MOM IS COMING FOR DINNER

It was really nice outside again so I took Cassie out before lunch. She had fun with Tucker again and she kept trying to feed him rocks from the road. While we were outside a train even came by and Cassie wasn't one bit afraid of it. After about an hour or so we came back in and I fed her lunch and then layed her down for a nap. I put "Poor Man's Prime Rib" in the crockpot and it will be ready around 5:30. I am going to mash some potatos, heat up some mediteranian veggies, and maybe even stuffing. Darren ran to DL to help a friend move, I hope he is home in time for dinner. Since my dad is gone this weekend I also invited my mom over for dinner too. Darren doesn't know this but he will find out when he gets home :) I am pretty sure that he won't care. After dinner if it's nice, I want to take Cassie outside again. It seems like she sleeps good when she gets outside to play. I found out today too that one of my cousins is also having a baby...she is due in July...just 4 months!! And we just found out now!! I don't blame her though because she got pregnant in the fall and had a miscarrage 6 weeks into her pregnancy. I am sure they didn't say anything because they wanted to make sure everything was ok.

Cassie running away Posted by Hello

Cassie trying to give Tucker a rock. Posted by Hello

Cassie's goofy face as she races by mom. Posted by Hello

Thursday, March 03, 2005

BEAUTIFUL DAY

It was 42 degrees outside today and I couldn't wait to get off work. When I punched out I went to the resturant to get corn dog bites for Cassie's dinner and when we got home we played in the yard with the dog for a while and we even walked up and down the road infront of the house. After a while the horses came down from the barn to see what we were doing. Cassie had sooooo much fun and she was even mad when I brought her in the house so she could eat her dinner. I hope it's as nice tomorrow as it was today so that I can take Cassie out again. I have been getting cabin fever and I have been praying for some good days so that Cassie can enjoy being outside without freezing after a few minutes. I was starting to feel bad because all Cassie did was play in the house with the same toys...now it will be different!!

Cassie splasing in water. Posted by Hello

Cassie walking down the road with her hat over her eyes. Posted by Hello

Tango with his full attention on Tucker. Posted by Hello

Tango & Luna trying to get a closer look at Tucker. Believe it or not, but Tango and Luna are not even related. Posted by Hello

Not a very good pic. But here is Cholla relaxing. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

IT WAS ONE THING RIGHT AFTER ANOTHER

So when I woke up today I washed dishes as Cassidy was eating her breakfast. After breakfast I gave Cassie a bath and then I had planned on running to the grocery store really fast when Darren woke up to cash my WIC checks. Darren got up around 12:30 and that is when I realized that I had a WIC appointment today at 10:40 am. Since I obviously missed my appointment I tried calling the Community Center in Leeds where they normally have WIC and I didn't get any answer. I got tired of trying to call the center so I called the DL office to let them know I had forgot but I still wanted to make an appointment to see someone. The DL office told me that they aren't in the center because of renovations and WIC was at the Luthran church. I called the church and the WIC lady told me that I could come in at 2. After meeting with WIC I ran to the store and put Cassie down for a nap. I worked evenings today and I had to run Cassie over to my moms so she could watch her while I was at work. Cassie woke up around 6. I got her diaper bag ready and bundled her up and ran out the car, got Cassie strapped into her car set.....and the car wouldn't start. I didn't worry about the car and I ran into the house and I called my mom to have her come and pick us up. I punched in at work at a quarter after 6 or 6:30 and I worked until 8:15. Because of her long nap, Cassie wasn't too ready for bed when we got home so I washed the rest of my dishes as she played with Scrappy and when I was finished with dishes, she was ready for bed. It's really nice now because Cassie is getting to the point where she doesn't like to be rocked anymore before her nap or going to bed so I can just lay her down and walk away. At the same time it depresses me because it's a sign of how fast she is growing and rocking was "our" time together since we stopped breastfeeding. But mother's have to let their children grow up. After my day, I am ready for bed and with how things ran today it can only be better tomorrow.

Your Mission

I bought this Grande Hurricane from Home Interiors and I absolutely love it. It is cast iron so it's prety heavy. The hurricane is huge, it's 13-1/4" x 16" h. Now what I need are table lamps to go with it and I can not find anything to match it. I want the table lamps to be the same rolled, rust/brown color that the hurrican is. I don't care if it has the braided rim but the rolled (not flat) cast iron is a must. If anyone is out and about, take a look at lamps for me. If you see anything that may match this, let me know.

Better Homes & Gardens Grande Hurricane Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Lego Church

I was a lego freak when I was a kid, just ask my family. My mom sent this to me and I thought that it was worth sharing. I can't imagine the patience the builder must have had!!

Very unique church... A few quick facts:
> >
> > 1. How long to build it?
> > It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.
> >
> > 2. How many pieces of LEGO to build it?
> > More than 75,000
> >
> > 3. How big is it?
> > About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2 m x 1.7 m x .76 m)
> >
> > 4. How many Lego people does it seat?
> > 1372
> >
> > 5. How many windows?
> > 3976
> >
> > 6. It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms and
> > coat rooms

Lego Church Posted by Hello

Lego Church Posted by Hello

Lego Church Posted by Hello

Lego Church Posted by Hello

What A Day

I was able to see Dr Petty at 3:45 today. So I left work at 2 and my mom picked Cassidy up from the sitter when she got home. Dr Petty asked if anyone had blood clots in our family and a clot is what could be giving me the charlie horse in my leg. The only person in our family to have blood clots is my grandma and that was a long time ago. He didn't do anything about it but does want me to monitor it and I am supposed to see him in 2 weeks. I also had a wart starting to grow (eeww, I know) on the bottom of my heel and it was painful when I walked so Dr Petty also removed that from my heel while I was there. My brother called tonight. His job interview went great and he goes back to the same place tomorrow and he will be there from 8 to 5 and he will know by Friday if he gets the job. It's like an ad adgency where they promote all sorts of things...music, sports, food, clothing, ect... and they make sales ads, even billboards. I think that's pretty cool. Cassidy is turning into a rocker. Any music that comes on and she jumps, runs in circles, waves her arms, and shakes her head. It's really funny to watch. Another thing she has started to do is stuff her socks under the couch. She was trying to do that for a half an hour over at my mom's place. Man, I am never going to be able to find anything anymore, but on the plus side she is going to make me keep my hosue pretty clean. The rest of this week and over the weekend I am going to work on cleaning our bakc bedroom so we can actually use it. It will be nice to get all our junk out of there and clean it up.
 


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