He's of the colour of the nutmeg. And of the heat of the ginger.... he is pure air and fire; and the dull elements of earth and water never appear in him, but only in patient stillness while his rider mounts him; he is indeed a horse, and all other jades you may call beasts. ~William Shakespeare, Henry V

Monday, January 29, 2007

MY WEEKEND

Saturday Darren went to the Devils Lake fishing tournament with his cousin and uncle. The wind shield that day make the temperature -35 degrees on the ice. They didn't fish the whole tournament. About an hour and a half into the tournament they had to get off the ice because they were freezing. While Darren was fishing, I went to my mom's place with the girls so that I could catch up on some of my homework. Later that night, Darren and I met up with April, Kevin, Doug, Karissa, Derek, Tab, and Butto (our friend Jason) at the 11th Frame bar. Darren and I only hung out for a couple of hours because my mother was watching the girls and she had to work Sunday so we needed to get back home at a decent time. We had a lot of fun hanging out with everyone. When we all get together there is always a bunch of hard, deep belly laughing and after the last two weeks, that is just what I needed. Another great thing about the night is that nobody asked about the miscarriage and it was never even brought up and it was great not having to explain it for the 100,000,000 time.

Sunday was just your basic chillin' out being lazy type of day. I managed to get some homework done. I am behind a little bit, however, I did write to my professor's and they all told me not to worry too much about the homework and to just turn it in when I get it done. Just as long as everything is in by the deadline in May. I am sure by the end of this week I will be caught up though.

My mom called me today. The stuff from her crystal party has come in. The girls and I are going to go over to her house around 2:30 today and help her sort through it. I also want to check out all the stuff that I got. I might even get a little more homework done too.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

MORE WAITING...I AM SICK OF WAITING

I got to the clinic early today and had blood work done right away. I had about a 45 minute wait before I saw the doctor. Luckily, I brought my Laboratory Procedures book with me and got some reading and homework done for that class in the waiting room.

The doctor told me a few positive things. 1) It is not an ectopic pregnancy since there was no trace of a blood number. 2) It doesn't look like the mass is a ovarian cyst so there is no worry for cancer or anything like that. 3) The doctor believes that the mass is a corpus luteum cyst. 4) If it is actually a corpus luteum, then I just may not need to have surgery.

After a woman ovulates, a yellowish body of cells is formed on the ovary. This is called the corpus luteum. It disappears 14 days after it is formed, during the woman's next period. It produces the estrogen and progesterone hormones. When the woman conceives, the corpus luteum does not disappear because there has been no menstruation. The corpus luteum is sustained by the HCG hormone (generated by cells that form the placenta) during pregnancy. The corpus luteum becomes necessary in a pregnancy because it grows to support and nourish the new pregnancy until the placenta takes over.

Normally, the corpus luteum shrinks in about 6-7 weeks and stops functioning by the 10th week. But in about 1 out of every 10 cases, the corpus luteum fails to regress and becomes a cyst. This normally does not pose much of a problem, but does need to be monitored. If the cyst becomes huge or is about to rupture, then it would have to be surgically removed.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for next week to check the size of the cyst. If it is shrinking, then it is taking care of itself. If it is not getting any smaller, I have an appointment with my OB/GYN scheduled on February 9th and he will decide on what to do about the cyst.

In case anyone was wondering, I did ask the doctor about having another baby. He said that the "old school" method was for the women to wait 3 months before trying to conceive but it was more for the mental reasons than it was for health and they really do not go by that anymore. If we want to, we could start trying right away and the cyst should not pose any problems. Just for the record, we will NOT be trying any time soon. Maybe around June.

Monday, January 22, 2007

MORE LAB WORK YET

I was able to get into the lab right away today at 11 to have my blood drawn. There was still an hour and a half until I saw the doctor so I went over to Same Day Surgery and met my mom. Then the two of us walked down to the hospital cafeteria to have lunch. After lunch, I went up to the second floor and saw the lactation consultant, she was aware of everything going on, and unloaded everything on her and had a good cry. After I was finished there, I returned the nebulizer to CARE Medical and ran to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. I got back to the clinic around 1:15 and was seen by the doctor right away. First off, the mass IS in my ovary. Second, my blood number is now 1.0, slightly elevated from Saturday.

The mass may be a cyst. Ovarian cysts can become stimulated by hormones when women are pregnant causing the cyst to grow largely at a rapid pace. My lost pregnancy could be a factor in the size of the cyst. The mass could also be an ectopic pregnancy inside the ovary. My blood work came back from the lab slightly elevated from Saturday and it shouldn't be elevated if I am not pregnant. An ectopic pregnancy can cause rupture of my ovary and fallopian tube if surgery isn't performed right away to remove it. A cyst needs to be surgically removed too, but it is not as urgent as an ectopic pregnancy. So either way, I am looking at surgery.

The doctor wants my blood to be drawn again in 48 hours. If the blood numbers are still rising, then surgery will be scheduled immediately to remove the ectopic pregnancy. If the numbers are staying relatively low the doctor will make arrangements for my OB/GYN to remove the cyst the next time he is in Devils Lake, which is February 9. Just two weeks from now.

The cyst has to be removed before Darren and I can have another baby. Since the loss of this baby, we have talked a lot about having another baby. We both want another baby and decided to try for another baby when all of this is out of the way. I will need about three months of healing time before I become pregnant so we are going to try and get all of this stuff out of the way as soon as possible. I am ready to put this behind me and move on to happier things.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I AM SAD AND VERY SCARED

Today I left Darren with the girls while I ran to town to get a computer disk from my parents house and to get milk at the grocery store. when I got back home it was time for the girls to have lunch. I decided to run to the bathroom quickly before starting lunch. When I got into the bathroom, I noticed I was bleeding. Any bleeding is not good while you are pregnant.
My mom was working in the emergency room at the hospital today so I called ER to speak with her. She was going to let the front desk know that I was coming in.

I got to the hospital a little past 1 o'clock. They put me in an ER room right away where I waited until 1:30 for lab to come and take some blood. After lab, I waited another two hours before the doctor came in. I can't remember everything specifically what the doctor said, but it basically boiled down to this. Your blood produces a number when you are pregnant. The higher the number, the farther along that you are. 0 to 25 you are not pregnant, anything above 25 is pregnant. Then they compare these numbers to a chart that has numbers of what your blood should be producing at a particular stage in pregnancy. If they notice a drop in numbers, than they know something is happening inside the tummy. My number was only 0.2, not even zero, which means I am not pregnant.

I was very mad, upset, sad and confused. I just had a positive pregnancy test at the clinic on Wednesday. Thursday I had an ultrasound and the techs made it sound like there was something there. How could all this happen in just three days? The doctor explained that you can miscarry up to two weeks before you start bleeding. I probably miscarried a while ago and there was still enough HCG hormone in my body to make the test positive or the doc also thought that possibility the embryo was not viable and nothing I did specifically did caused this.
The doctor said that something did show on the ultrasound. I have a mass, and it is not a small mass either. It is 8 cm x 7 cm x 7 cm and it is near, or on, my left ovary. The mass is bigger than my bladder. This is most likely the reason for my abdomen and left side pain and will more than likely need to be surgically removed. Notes where placed in my chart and I go to the clinic and see my regular doctor Monday. I need to go to lab too, where they will re-run all the of blood tests and do another pregnancy test just to make sure that it comes back negative. Then we will discuss what this means for future pregnancies and we will also go over the mass in the ultrasound more in detail and probably make arrangements for me to see an OB/GYN to have it looked at.

It is hard to put into words exactly how I feel. After we told everyone we were having a baby I started to feel really excited about the baby. When I told Darren I was pregnant again, he said he did want another baby which made me feel very good about it. Now everything caved in terribly and I am up for several terrible months ahead. The thought about the mass scares me to death. My grandmother died from ovarian cancer. I don't want to die from cancer at 40. I want to be here for my girls. Only time will tell what is going to happen.

Friday, January 19, 2007

OKAY, HERE IT GOES

I want to thank everyone for all the well wishes I have received. It is very thought full of all of you. I just want to apologize because my condition is not that bad as it may seem to all of you. It was just VERY surprising to me and my husband right now.

So.....

The new is that we are having another baby.

I had to go back in to Devils Lake for a trans-vaginal ultra sound on Thursday. It's not your average run-of-the-mill ultrasound either. Since my PCOS gives me "female" problems, we did not know the gestational stage of the baby or my due date. The ultrasound showed that I am pregnant, but the baby was not big enough to measure, so I am less than six weeks along.

I go back into the clinic on Monday for blood work and then the doctor wants to go over the lab work and ultrasound in detail after I am done with lab. The doctor is a little concerned about my abdominal pain and they want to get everything checked out and make sure the baby and I are both okay. We still do not have a due date and probably will not have one for another few weeks.

Don't worry, things won't turn out like it did at Jessie's birth either. I and the doctor spoke about it for a while, and the doctor said that we will due an ultrasound a week before my due date to make sure the baby is healthy. If things look okay at that time, the doctor said that he will let me stay pregnant until I go into labor. Thus, insuring not another preemie baby.

I will post more later.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

DOCTOR VISIT

Thank you to the many to sent Jessie well-wishes and happy birthdays. She is all better now and back to her old shenanigans. Cassie eventually did get sick. She has had a fever and a cough for the last few days. I haven't felt any better either so Cassie and I went to see the doctor yesterday. They first checked Cassie out and wrote her out a prescription. The doctor said that if Cassie's breathing got rough I could always give her some nebulizer treatments too. Then the doctor checked me out. I told them about my lower left abdominal pain and side pain that I have had for a couple of weeks. I was sent to lab to have them check for bladder and kidney infections. I was thinking that my PCOS was acting up again, but the report that came back from lab literally blew me away. I just sat there quiet for about ten minutes looking at the report. I couldn't say anything. The first thing I did was head over to Same Day Surgery to talk to my mom, then when I left the clinic I called Darren right away because he wanted to know how the appointments went. I will post more about my visit in a few days, I just need things to sink in.

I need to try and find someone to watch the girls. I have to go back to the hospital today and it is not going to be a fun procedure to have the girls along for. If I cannot find someone, I may just have to bring them with.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

JESSIE'S FIRST BIRTHDAY

We celebrated Jessie's first birthday on Saturday, January 13. It was her actual birthday too which was cool. My mother and sister made the birthday cake. Jeff, Tonya, Allysa, and Haily came down from Rugby. Billy Jo & Ashtyn were there too along with my mother's Aunt and her husband from Minot. Jessie got some really cute gifts and we all had fun celebrating.

Today Jeff and Darren went ice fishing at Goose Lake so I took both kids to church with me. That was a trip. I am glad that my mother and sister were in church too. We have been hanging out here since noon. Cassie isn't feeling well today. She has a runny nose, soar throat, and she had a little fever a short time ago. I am hoping that this is the worst that her cold is going to get.

We are going to head back home soon after supper. I am not sure if Darren is home from ice fishing yet or not. They never said when they were going to get off the ice.

I hope you all had a very wonderful weekend!

Not too many people could tell what Jessie's birthday cake was supposed to be. Any guesses? It's supposed to a giraff but the frosting didn't turn out as planned. I still think that is it a very cute birthday cake myself.

Some of the gifts.
Jessie playing with her new Baby Einstein musical book and her new interactive animal blocks.

Jessie checking out the Little People barn that she got from Nana and Grandpa.

Jessie getting ready to dig into the tail off her giraff birthday cake.

I just had to post this picture. I thought it was too adorable not to. I love how Jessie is showing off her frosting covered face.

Jessie just piled the cake into her mouth in great fist fulls. YUMMY!

Check out the cake-matted hand. I believe that is the most cake I have ever seen collect on an infants hand.
What a dirty cake face! And check out all the cake between the fingers.

Aunty Lynnette was sitting on the floor and Cassie would go barreling towards Aunty. Aunty would catch Cassie by her hands and then raise Cassie up in the air with her feet. Cassie would holler and squeal with delight.

A very cute pic of Cassie and Aunty. Here, Aunty Lynnette is being the pony. At first Cassie was the pony and it was hilarous watching Aunty trying to get a ride from Cassie. I was going to get a pic of it, but my camera memeory was full.

A very cute pic of Cassie and Aunty. Here, Aunty Lynnette is being the pony. At first Cassie was the pony and it was hilarous watching Aunty trying to get a ride from Cassie. I was going to get a pic of it, but my camera memeory was full.

Aunty was pretty tired after all the physical exercise. She tried to calm Cassie down with a game of Herd Your Horses. Jessie tried to sneak in on the game.

I took this picture at my mother's house after church today. Jessie is wearing the brand new outfit that she got from her Aunty Lynnette for her birthday.





Thursday, January 11, 2007

BABY IS STILL SICK, WORKING FURNACE, AND HOMEWORK

After the nebulizer treatment last night and this morning Jessie threw up. It wasn't the normal baby barf either. It was thick heavy junk that was a yellow bile color. I called the clinic after she thew up this morning because I became concerned. Jessie never threw up after the treatment at the clinic so I though maybe I was doing something wrong. The nurse on the phone told me that the nebulizer breaks up the gunk in Jessie's chest so she can cough it out. Jessie is probably throwing up because she cannot cough well enough yet to get it out and the only other way babies can get it out is to throw up and throwing up is okay. I trust the nurse so we are going to keep going at it. I just have to keep an ice cream pail handy right after the treatments.

Jessie was super tired this morning when I got her from her crib. She did not have much of an appetite and basically just sat there with her head on her highchair try. I gave her a bottle but she wasn't too interested in that either. She just wanted to be held and rocked which I was proud to do. She fell asleep around 11 o'clock and she has been sleeping since. Because of her meds she will probably spend a majority of the day sleeping.

Social services sent a guy from Johnson's Pluming out to check out our furnace. Social services pays to have the furnace cleaned once a year. While the guy was cleaning the furnace out, he noticed that when the previous owners of the trailer moved out and took the central air box from outside the house with them, they forgot the A/C coil thingy in the furnace. He removed it since we do not have central air and I couldn't believe how terrible the thing looked. It is a big triangular-shaped box with copper tubes and combs that look the the front of a vehicle radiator. All the combs were packed with dirt and dust making air flow almost impossible. It was basically a grey clay triangle. This was the main reason we had bad heat flow throughout the house. The plugged coil was blocking everything. After the cleaning and the removal of the coil, our furnace sounds different and heat is really coming through our floor vents now. You can hold your hand high above the vent and feel the heat coming up which we could barely feel before.

I am dedicating this day to homework, keeping Cassie busy, making Jessie comfortable as possible, and lots of coffee. If I feel like it, I just might wash some of the dishes that have been staring at me since yesterday afternoon too.

WE ARE SOME VERY SICK PEOPLE

I took Jessie to the evening clinic in Devils Lake today because her condition had not improved. After listening to her chest, the PA sent us over to the hospital to have her chest x rayed. Turns out poor little Jessie has bronchitis. The PA gave Jessie a steroid shot to help her breathing. It worked almost immediately. Jessie was also given a nebulizer treatment which I have to continue here at home for 3 to 4 days until she improves and Jessie also gets antibiotics for three days. I still do not feel any better myself. I have lost any energy to get stuff done around the house. Taking care of the kids uses up all that I have. I had a fever the other night. I went from extreme cold to excessive heat all night long. At one point I started to hallucinate. When I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I saw snakes in the bathtub. I still have a cough and I sound dumb because of my nose and throat. I should have had the PA check me out too, but I didn’t. I was too concerned about Jessie. It sucks because I cannot get any decent rest because of the girls during the day and then I need to do my homework at might so I don’t fall behind. Oh, well, I am sure this will all be over soon enough. I still blame Darren for bringing this Death Plague into the house. To my surprise, Cassidy is not sick at all.

Monday, January 08, 2007

WE ARE SICK, MY CLASSES START TOMORROW, AND I HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY I NEED TO GO SHOPPING FOR

In roughly two short hours my spring classes will begin. I am excited to get them going; however, I have had a few scares already. I had to find a book that is out of print for my laboratory procedure class. I found it cheap on Amazon.com. I was starting to freak out yesterday because the book had not come in the mail yet. It showed up in the mail today. A day before classes!! Also, the same class asks that we take a pretest found in the syllabus before starting our chapter work. I cracked open the syllabus and guess what, NO PRETEST! I am going to have to email the instructor and ask her what I should do because I do not want to fall a week behind waiting for a pretest.

An awful cold as swept through our house. Cassie seems to be fine but Jessie and I aren’t feeling well at all. Jessie is the worst off. The poor girl has a cough, runny nose, and her eyes were watery earlier but have seemed to stop. I called my mom at work and she came to my house and dropped off Dimetapp, Tylenol, Delsym, and some Pedialyte for Jessie after she got done with work. I have a little cough and junk is settling into my chest, I can feel my chest getting heavier every hour. I am also taking Tylenol for a headache and body aches. Darren is fine. He got this junk a week or two ago while he was working and brought this plague into our house. I am hoping to have this all kicked by Jessie’s birthday party on Saturday.


I got a little bored today so I tried giving my brother and sister a call to chat for a bit. They obviously do not have as much free time as I do. My sister had to go because she was at the gym but said she would call back. Then I called my brother and he didn't sound like chatting so I kept it quick. If I have some friends out there, they need to call me or write emails. I am getting really bored.

Well, the kids are in bed and I am super tired. I am sure Jessie will probably be up a few times tonight since she is sick so I better get a little sleep in.


April - you, Kevin, and Aiden are invited to the birthday party for Jessie. Saturday, January 13. At my mom's house. The party starts at 1pm. I TOTALLY understand if you guys can't make it. Since Aiden is home now, I would want to be with him for a while. I was like that when I got Jessie back from the hosptial. I couldn't put her down for nothing!! CONGRATS you guys, I am so proud of the both of you!!

Friday, January 05, 2007


Aunt DiAnna and little Micheal. It was weird for a bit to think that I had a cousin that is 26 years younger than me. After a while I started to think of how cool it is going to be when we can all tell him stories of his parents when he is older and gets upset about being punished for something he may do.

Check out the blue eyes. This is my cousin Micheal Wanschaffe. He is 11 days older than Jessie
This is my uncle Bill and my mom. They are brother and sister and one of my only two uncles.

What a georgous happy little boy!

Micheal really didn't know what to do with his cupcake at first. Then when he got his first taste of cupcake he started shoving it in his mouth in huge pieces.

YUMMY

Just look at that cake face!

This is the ONLY picture I could get of Cassie eating her cupcake. Normally she begs for her picture to be taken, but not on this day.
Erin and a very happy birthday boy after being washed-up.

A cute pic of Jessie playing with Micheal's floor gym.

The cousin's, minus Jessie. From left to right: Ethan Odeggard, Cassie Hanson, Erin Odeggard, and Micheal.

Micheal William Wanschaffe. What a very happy birthday boy!!
I always wanted to get Jessie the Fisher Price Little People farm. I think it is so cool. Mike had one and Jessie loved it. She may need this for her birthday.
Here, Micheal and Jessie are playing with the radio that uncle Bill and Aunt DiAnna have in their living room. This was the only decent shot of the two little cousins together.


Here is Micheal in his brand new sled from his Godparents (who are also his aunt and uncle from Fargo.) He loved being pulled around the carpet in it.

Micheal was not fond of Jessie sitting in his sled. He tried to pull Jessie out of it.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

I HAVE A CLEAN DRIVEWAY

My father just left my house. He had come over to blow out our driveway and yard since it is so nice today. The warm south wind is really melting the snow that we received over the weekend. I think this is the first time that I can remember that we have had a Chinook. My dad said that we are getting a lot of Montana-type weather lately. I have never experienced Montana weather before and I am really enjoying this, with the exception of Saturday evening of course. There are times that I think we live way to close to my parents and then there are MANY times that I am thankful that they do live were they do. We are far enough to have space from each other, but then close enough that when something happens or when we need help, we can be there for each other.

I have decided that today is definitely a snowman day. It is 40 degrees here and snow is super sticky. I better dig out my snowman kit.

A LOT TO TALK ABOUT

On Saturday we decided to go to Manvel for my uncle’s son’s first birthday party. We did not know it at the time, but this was a big mistake. When I woke up at 8 it was snowing lightly. When we left my mother’s place in Leeds to go to Devils Lake to pick up my grandmother, the snow was coming down in huge wet flakes. The roads were good and we had great driving until about the last five miles of the trip to Manvel.

The birthday party was nice and everyone had fun. About a half hour before we left Manvel it started to rain. It was not a light rain either. There were big drops coming down fast and if it had been the middle of summer instead of winter it would have soaked a person in seconds. The drive home from Manvel was terrible. The rain had turned to snow and it was gathering quickly. I could not see the road so I drove in what I believe was the middle of the road. Instead of taking the short way home, I decided to go south and head for highway 2. I knew there would be traffic and I could follow someone. Plus, it was getting dark and I did not want to be on the back roads in the middle of now where in a snow storm. Highway 2 was full of snow. We pushed snow with the bottom of the car all the way home. Half way through the trip I had enough and let my mother drive. Thank goodness there was a little traffic or we would have been in big trouble. At least we could follow in the tracts of the vehicles ahead of us. You could not see anything at all.

This trip usually is only about an hour and fifteen minutes from Devils Lake to Manvel. Saturday night it took us 4 hours just to reach Devils Lake on the way back. After we dropped off my grandma it was another hour and a half to get to Leeds. We are never going to do that again unless we know for sure there is not going to be any snow or precipitation what so ever.

I was able to make it home and got the girls in bed right away. I was tired from the extremely long car ride so I went directly to bed as well. At 2 in the morning I got a phone call from Darren. He was stranded out by Balta. He was on his way home and his truck just died on him and he could not get it started. Thankfully, a customer from his route was returning home from the bar and stopped when he saw Darren. He took Darren to his house were Darren was able to spend the night.

Sunday I called my father. My father took his car trailer down to Balta to pick up Darren and his truck. They brought the truck back and were able to store it in the Larson Implement shop in Leeds. My dad and Darren thought it was just iced up and needed time to thaw out. On Monday, my dad and the owner of Larson’s Implement went into the shop to see if the truck would start. It didn’t. They tried a lot of things but it refused to start. Darren was upset because he was going to have to take the car to work and was worried because then would not have a vehicle if there was an emergency or if I needed to take the girls anywhere. Darren phoned his boss and made arrangements so he could stay home and work on his truck on Tuesday. Darren left early Tuesday to go work on his truck. Turns out the distributor got wet and a couple of parts didn’t look so good. Larson’s just happened to have the parts so Darren purchased them and exchanged them in his truck. The truck started right up and has been running great since. Knock on wood.

Last night C-Span replayed President Fords funeral. My father called to see if I could tape it for him. I broke our VCR before Christmas when it fell from the entertainment center. The girls got a DVD/VCR player from my mom and dad for Christmas to be used in their toy room and I had not gotten around to hooking it up yet. I scrambled like crazy, but for some dumb reason I could not get it working. It wasn’t until the services were almost over that I finally got it working after I disconnected everything from the TV and just had the DVD/VCR player connected to it. At midnight, C-Span again played the president lying at the capitol, the service at the cathedral, and then the memorial at Grand Rapids MI commercial free. The entire thing went until 4 or 5 in the morning so I waiting for it to start, hit record, and then went to bed and just let the machine record all night long. I haven’t checked the tape today. I hope it turned out.

New Year’s was not that exciting. After the girls went to bed, Darren and I watched the countdown Live from Las Vegas on VH1. They had a lot of good bands and they counted down all the time zone New Years. Not only did we see the ball drop in NY, but also in Denver CO, Houston TX, and Las Vegas of course. There were a couple of other one’s too but I forgot where they were.

Today is a beautiful day. It is warm out and the snow is melting a bit. The girls and I are going to head over to my mom’s when she gets home so I can give her the Ford tape and I think Cassie and I will go out and make a snowman if Nana is willing to watch Jessie while we do it. I don’t expect that to be a problem at all.

I have pictures of Christmas and the birthday party but for some reason it takes 45 minutes to post a picture since I switched over to the new blogger. I am going to post the pics when I get to my mom’s so I can use her DSL.

That’s all for now folks!
 


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