VENTING

Yesterday my mom, I, and the girls went to Minot and did some shopping. We stopped and picked up my mom's aunt, and then went to the mall so I could get some good Wrangler jeans at RCC and a new Stephen King book at Barnes & Noble. The girls were upset because there isn't a pet store in the Minot mall anymore, so we had to make a special trip to a pet store a few blocks from the mall so that the girls could see animals. I thought they were going to try to come home with all sorts of pets, but they didn't. I was surprised. After the mall, we headed over to the Super Wal-Mart to pick up some standard stuff. I also got a DVD player for the flat screen TV in my bedroom. Now I can watch my western shows in bed.

Jessie has been a handful lately. She is digging into everything. She gets into my fridge and just helps herself to everything in there. She climbs up the cupboards and pulls out all the fruit snacks, cereal, and cookies. She is constantly digging in my make-up, and just recently discovered extreme enjoyment in putting cat litter in the bathtub. All my floors are just awfully nasty and she even got my white comforter in my bedroom full of crap. I swear the little girl should have been born a boy.

I need to do some fencing. My mom's black/white blanket appaloosa colt, Oreo, has gotten into the habit of stomping down the fence and walking over it when it gets low enough. I have to tighten the snot out of the fence, then I am going to surprise the bastard by running an electric line across the top. After being buzzed by the fence a few times, I am sure Oreo will stop stepping on it.

I have been a little mad, upset, angry, and sad the last couple of weeks. One of the last times that Darren brought the girls back from Minot he told me he is getting married to the woman he left me for. I know I shouldn't care. We are divorced and it's time for both of us to move on and do our own things, but it still hurts.....A LOT. I guess I was always hoping that he would get his head out of his ass and come home, but now I know that he will never come back. I got really upset today when the girls and I met him in Devils Lake so he could see them before we went swimming. He had this ugly hickey on his neck that looked like a bruise. I didn't say anything to him, but I got so mad by just seeing that, that I had to walk away or I was going to loose it in front of everyone. I don't understand why all of this still makes me so upset. I wish that he would just fall off the face of the earth. I don't want to here about how his life is going on and I am trying to survive with the girls in a hick town where I am the only person of my age. However, I choose to live here because of my horses and I like the people, but, because of the girls, he will always be in my life so I have to learn how to adjust to everything he does. I guess I have to learn how to move on myself.