Boy Do I Feel Shitty
Darren and I went and got our taxes done, and $54 dollars later we found out we were getting a lot more back than what we expected which made us feel good....for about a half hour. On the way home from Rugby Cassidy through a fit and cried all the way home and Darren has a hard time yet when Cassidy gets that way. To make a long story short when we got home there was a lot of yelling between us and plenty of words that were said out of anger that really hurt our feelings. I think they mostly stemmed from a tight buget, Darren's sore back, the house, our jobs, and everything else inbetween that you can think of. We both cried for a little while and then Darren left for work. My mom came to my house to watch Cassidy tonight and when she was hear I filled her in on what was going on. She didn't have much to say about the subject but she listened that was a lot of what I needed. When I got to work about an hour later, Darren apologized to me and I did too. We both hate it when things get that bad and hope we can prevent it in the future, we just have to work on it a little more. I just hope that there are changes that we can make that will make things easier on each of us.
posted by Janelle @ 10:02 PM
3 Comments:
At February 2, 2005 at 11:08 PM,
Josie, group organizer said…
I hate days like those. When Amadon and I start to have really ugly fights about this topic or that we realize a little later that the underlying thing is stress due to something else. Having a tight budget is hard. When money was so tough that we had no clue how we'd ever catch up we fought every day. Sometimes you can't always see the little things that are causing problems. The way you each react to stress can cause fights too. Just hang in there, remember why it is you love each other, and realize you can get through this. Try to look at the fight as a way to look at all the stress that could be hurting you. (from baby, money, how you handle stress, etc) and remember it's not your relationship that's causing a problem. The best thing you can do for each other is write or say what you love about the other person, do it frequently, and really support each other. Sometimes those things are forgotten in times like this. Most of the hurtful things said were probably due to being angry at something else. The important thing isn't that you fought is that you made up, are supporting each other and love each other. Just never let your pride or hurt feelings get in a way of saying you're sorry. Maybe try and see what each of you really needs and work on that. (yes I realize a million dollars would be nice as this is Amadon's first response too lol but that may not happen). Does Darren need a certain amount of time during the day to unwind? Do you need some quality time without baby to be with your husband? Things along those lines. Everyone can work an hour to do something to help the other person. You'd be surprised at how far it goes.
At February 3, 2005 at 11:49 AM,
Karissa (mommy) said…
I'm glad you guys made up. It's good when people realize that they aren't necessarily fighting about what they think they are. You are right, people usually fight about little things, but they really stem from bigger things going on in your lives. I'm glad you guys know enough to make up and realize what's really bugging you. I know how Darren feels too about getting frustrated when Cassidy throughs a fit. I get really frustrated sometimes with Isabella and Doug is always the calm one. Sometimes I have to just leave the room and let him handle her. I always feel bad doing that, but if I don't I would probably start screaming at her, and that's obviously pointless to do with a child, especially a 4 month old. Yea for making up!!!
At February 4, 2005 at 2:30 AM,
BoneDaddy said…
Ahh, the budget stress is one of the worst. It doesn't even let you know it's coming on. And you guys know money will be coming in, and it still affected you. I don't know how stress manages to do that, but it sure is sneaky. Actually, concerning the baby, I sometimes have to lay her down and take a breather, too. I don't leave, I guess, but I turn on music and she usually shuts up quickly so I can sit down and relax for a few minutes.
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