OH WHAT A NIGHT
Cassie took a late nap today and she got up around 5 pm and then Brandi, Carson, Billy, AJ, Cassie and I went to the restaurant in Leeds to eat because none of us felt like cooking anything. After supper Cassie and I went over to Brandi and AJ's house since Cassie will be going to their place tomorrow morning while we move hay. The kids watched The Incredibles and played with Playdough. Cassie also liked playing with Brandi's two dogs Molly (a black lab) and Schatze (a dachshund). Cassie has gotten into this big sniffing people phase and she scared Schatze when Cassie tried to sniff him then if that couldn't be any worse, while Cassie was in the kitchen with Brandi and Carson, Cassie picked poor Schatze up and threw him over the child safety gate and he fell down the basement stairs. I felt really bad cause I was in another room when it happened and I couldn't see Cassie from where I was. Brandi checked on Schatze and he was fine then Brandi laughed about it cause we couldn't believe that Cassie was able to pick him up and throw him over the gate. I'm glad that Brandi wasn't upset and saw the humor in the incident.
I am not too sure where we are putting the horses. I talked it over with Darren and he okayed it to fence behind our house and next to the garage cause it's totally protected from wind because of the buildings and the tree lines there so the horses can be put back there for the winter to keep them out of the wind. I still have to find a convenient place for the hay cause every where in our yard pretty much fills up with snow when it storms. I was thinking of putting in in the back of the driveway or next to an old building that we are keeping for a friend directly behind the house cause then it would be easy to move, all we would have to do is drop the bales over the fence but then Darren is worried that the snow would collect and then block in the car. I really don't expect to go anywhere after the baby is born except for the 1 week post-delivery check up and then monthly check ups after that. I am planning to have my mom pick up my shopping we I need anything since she goes to town every day.
I know that since Darren wants to move to Harvey that the right thing is to do is to sell the horses, but at the same time it's the hardest thing for me to do. The horses were my hobby, I really didn't have much else growing up and going through high school. I wasn't active in any sports, I wasn't popular, I wasn't invited on the weekends to do anything with anybody, and I never went to the prom. Mike and my dad had the stock cars and guitars, my sister was in everything you could imagine but then she was a popular person, my mom just liked the peace and quiet and a little time to bake. The horses were my get away, my piece of paradise. Without them, I don't know what I would have done because they kept me busy and I loved to ride. They didn't care if I was popular or not, what I looked like, if I played sports, or if I had great grades. They just expected a little care and a few treats now and then and the would do anything for a bucket of oats. I still like to ride, but it's not easy to do anymore. I have had my horse for over twelve years and breaks my heart to think that I have to sell her now. Since Cassidy was born two years ago I haven't' had the time for the horses and it isn't going to get any easier with a second child. I think I have ridden her twice since 2003. I don't like to think of selling them either because I fell like I am cheating myself out of something good. With everything going on and all the sacrifices that I need to make being a mom, I don't want to get ride of the last piece of "freedom" that I have. Why should I get rid of all my fun things so that everyone else can have what they want and all of their toys...what am I left with? I know that sounds really selfish, it's down right cold hearted of me to say that, because I will have two children to take up my time but I just think that everyone should have something so if I don't have the horses, what do I get?
I am hoping I will feel better about it when it happens and my coldness will go away and I won't be spiteful about everything. Like Nike says "Just do it" but it's easier said than done.
I am not too sure where we are putting the horses. I talked it over with Darren and he okayed it to fence behind our house and next to the garage cause it's totally protected from wind because of the buildings and the tree lines there so the horses can be put back there for the winter to keep them out of the wind. I still have to find a convenient place for the hay cause every where in our yard pretty much fills up with snow when it storms. I was thinking of putting in in the back of the driveway or next to an old building that we are keeping for a friend directly behind the house cause then it would be easy to move, all we would have to do is drop the bales over the fence but then Darren is worried that the snow would collect and then block in the car. I really don't expect to go anywhere after the baby is born except for the 1 week post-delivery check up and then monthly check ups after that. I am planning to have my mom pick up my shopping we I need anything since she goes to town every day.
I know that since Darren wants to move to Harvey that the right thing is to do is to sell the horses, but at the same time it's the hardest thing for me to do. The horses were my hobby, I really didn't have much else growing up and going through high school. I wasn't active in any sports, I wasn't popular, I wasn't invited on the weekends to do anything with anybody, and I never went to the prom. Mike and my dad had the stock cars and guitars, my sister was in everything you could imagine but then she was a popular person, my mom just liked the peace and quiet and a little time to bake. The horses were my get away, my piece of paradise. Without them, I don't know what I would have done because they kept me busy and I loved to ride. They didn't care if I was popular or not, what I looked like, if I played sports, or if I had great grades. They just expected a little care and a few treats now and then and the would do anything for a bucket of oats. I still like to ride, but it's not easy to do anymore. I have had my horse for over twelve years and breaks my heart to think that I have to sell her now. Since Cassidy was born two years ago I haven't' had the time for the horses and it isn't going to get any easier with a second child. I think I have ridden her twice since 2003. I don't like to think of selling them either because I fell like I am cheating myself out of something good. With everything going on and all the sacrifices that I need to make being a mom, I don't want to get ride of the last piece of "freedom" that I have. Why should I get rid of all my fun things so that everyone else can have what they want and all of their toys...what am I left with? I know that sounds really selfish, it's down right cold hearted of me to say that, because I will have two children to take up my time but I just think that everyone should have something so if I don't have the horses, what do I get?
I am hoping I will feel better about it when it happens and my coldness will go away and I won't be spiteful about everything. Like Nike says "Just do it" but it's easier said than done.
posted by Janelle @ 9:29 PM
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