50 SEAGULLS, A PIG, A MOODY HUSBAND, AND ONE REALLY WET CHICKEN

Darren ran to town to get the smog pump for his truck this afternoon. Before he left he asked me to pack his lunch for work if he wasn't home by 4. 4 rolled around and I started packing his lunch. He called and said that he still had not gotten the pump on because it was was really tough to get on and he was having problems with it fitting right. I told him not to worry about coming home to get his lunch and that I would run it over to my parents house for him. On the way there right outside of York, there was this huge flock of gulls flying in perfect sync over the road. Wouldn't you know right as I went under them, about 15 of them had to shit at the same time and covered my windshield with little white dots. I was a little mad about that and I was trying to get Darren his lunch at a decent time before he left for work so I was doing 65 mph to my parents house. There is road construction on Hwy 2 right now to fix the road between Knox and Leeds so the speed has been reduced to 60 mph. There has never been a cop on that road...until today. He stopped me not even 5 miles from my house. I didn't have my seatbelt on, I couldn't find the current insurance card in the car (all I had were old ones), it took me a while to find the registration, and I didn't know that my license had expired in February. Out of everything the police man was nice enough to let me off with a $20 fine. This is my first ticket in my life. Everything until just now had always been warning. When I got to my parents place, I wasn't in the best of moods and since Cassie copied Grandma's words the other day I have been doing okay at not swearing around her and Darren knows that I don't want ANY swearing around her...When Cassie and I got out of the car at my parents he was fighting with the smog pump yet and he started to say F#%@ this and F%*@ that. I told him sternly to watch his language and he didn't need to talk like that and he just kept going. Every other word out of his mouth was the F word and Cassie was right there. I got pissed, grabbed Cassie and we walked around to the other side of my dad's shop where some of his trailers are and Cassie and I hung out with my dad until Darren came to say that he was leaving for work and then he left. It was cold so I took Cassie inside. A while ago, mom gave Cassie this big chicken from one of those CLAW machines. Well she confused it for a duck and thought it needed to go for a swim so she chucked him in the toilet. Of course, it was a few moments before I realized this and after I saved the chicken from a swirley I threw him in my mom's dryer. Cassie and I hung out to watch American Idol and then we came home. Tomorrow I will probably go over to my mom's house after work because Darren took a vacation day tomorrow and will more than likely end up putting that smog pump on his truck. If he starts with that temper and swearing again, Cassie and I will leave and he can come home when he has cooled off. At least my dad and I put Darren's truck in one of my dad's poll barns so that he won't be working in the snow if we do get that 4 to 6 inches of snow they are predicting.